i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
