Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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