So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
