why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
