of course. lets lasso hookers.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
