I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
