I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize