Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
