You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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