New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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