i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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