You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
His nipple licking is glorious
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