im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
How naked do you want me to be?
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