As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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