Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
