STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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