he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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