when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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