6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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