I need help removing her.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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