He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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