Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
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His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
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I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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