He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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