trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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