Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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