you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
