The brown eye won't let me do that either.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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