just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
