On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
