Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
