I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
