your thong is hanging out like whoa
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
