do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
