i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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