FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
