Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
