At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
