Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
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And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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