I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
How does it feel to date your dad?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
