i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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