She is in my trunk
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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