eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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