Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
