so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
