I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
