I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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