Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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