he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
there is glitter all over my balls
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
