You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize