Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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