I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
