walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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