like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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