Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
