Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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