this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
