I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize