Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
